Going Blank

Lately, it seems that beyond talking to the audience of one here in my head, nothing seems to mesh with any sense. And by sense, I mean all that draws a hint of reality toward an agreement with any sort of self. It seems that the world became a view of a peach too close to my face. I cannot see it despite the fact that it is right before my eyes and smells completely yummy. But who holds peaches to their face?
And boys, stop reading into everything I say or do. Boys, another thing that just does not make sense or are too easy to figure out their motives but they are too shy or foolish to go after what is right before them. Just another simple ranting being unclearly made.
On that note, the world is a peachy blur and all that I can think is to sink into an idea of a better tomorrow. If only I could go back to being small and completely ignorant of my ego-centric starting point. Because, when I was so little the rest of everything was much bigger and promising. But now, I am always being drawn away from self but see such a small situation as my world; forgetting that something or someone can be much bigger than my fragile conundrums.
Being a twenty-something just does not make sense too often, but I am so glad that moments arise to let me know that I am part of something much more than this shabby self. Like after a long day of sitting blank faced with nothing to do, a smile from my seven-year-old bookbag-toting Will changes everything. Or a begging plea for another Jimmy John's sub is always a decision worth considering. I must say that I love my kids and that is something that makes sense. But the rest just is not clear yet, but I am hoping to see otherwise just around the next city block.