Grad School God's Grace

I just spent the last couple hours being verbose. I am done with verbose. But, I am not done delighting in God's Grace. Weirder, I am throwing this out to the blogging cosmos hoping for a reply. Call this blogging prayer or just a desperate attempt to chit-chat on this page, I am unsure.
But I am confidant of one thing besides that fact that it is extremely humid today; I am blessed to at least have the opportunity to go through the Grad School Admission Process. I am reveling in the fact (I guess that there are two things I am confidant within) that I have secretly been pushed to do something wonderful with the life I have been given. Ironically, I always tried to end my life through various vanities, yet God keeps reviving my inner turmoil into something gracious like writing. Wunderbar!

Keeping it with Livejournal.

Getting no feedback here, so moving back to Livejournal. Username, 'kidsister' ast www.livejournal.com . If I get some feedback, I'll be back. lol.
Have a good one!

A Coast Guard Hurrah to Farewell

This past weekend, I had a blast with all my friends here in Pensacola. It was one of those moments in life when I realized how completely blessed I am to have such wonderful people to call my friends. Between going out to O'Reily's to sitting on curbs at the Army recruitment office parking lot, I stood in awe of the genuine care we have for each other. It's subtle but strong through any felt emotion or transient thought. As I stood apart for a moment, I knew that God has graciously blessed me.
The love that Christ has for me is unspeakable at times. In fact, I am simply left with tears. He loves me. Why? He gives me people that are infused into the patterns of my life. Why? He daily calls me to be with these people that I have been angry, joyful, hurt, peaceful, hopeful, and encouraged by as we walk along life's ends and outs: together, not alone. Why? He loves me. That's why. He loves us.
It was most difficult to not only say 'goodbye' to a friend, but to see a person that is more than a friend walk away. This friend was a son, a brother, a confidant, a rock, a humor, a twin. It's amazing how much God invests with us. I am sad to say goodbye to those whom I love, but delight in seeing how precious we are to one another.

Cold Beer, Jack, and Ciara

It's overcast. Blahhhhh... Pensacola beach is probably gorgeous though. Hmmmm... Makes me begin to daydream about a Cold Corona, some Jack Johnson, and hanging in the sunshine with my friend, Ciara. I love how thoughts of people that I once spent tons of time with just drift from a corner of my square narrow mind into a huge collection point of fondness. It's so good to have memories on gloomy days like this. And, it's always a blessing to know that somewhere else, near or far might be living the daydreams that are in my heart.
I pray that y'all are having a good dream on me.
God's blessings as you recall that you are a beloved memory to me and a most loved child of God.

Cranberries and Chocolate 4-H Fairs

Today, I am thinking back on simpler times. Times in places where things like a snickers bar seemed like the coolest treat to get after school. When cranberries struck my curiosity as I spent minutes which turned into endless hours as I inquired about where cranberry farms were. If cranberries and chocolate were not my only delusional method to enjoy simple pleasures while wasting time, then I would begin to look forward to the next class party, field trip, or Marion County 4-H fair.
I always loved the fair. It smelled of popcorn, grilled steak burgers, honey, and saw dust. I never was much of a 4-Her, but I knew how to get out of school just to hang out at the fair. Getting out of school was easy. All that I needed was an alibi. If I could convince my teachers that I had something of the upmost importance to do at the fair like help a friend with their goats, set up spectacular award winning display, or well anything that just sounded important coming from a fifth grader's mouth, then I was free from my school attendance. I always sounded very convincing to myself. I must smile because I probably looked like some sweet mischievous dork to my teachers. They never bought my reasons, but let me free since I had put so much energy into trying to be convincing. I would have made a great actress in the annual Christmas pageant.
The fair was my first place of independence. I could freely wander through the exhibits and just pretend like I was magnificently cool since I was free of parents and teachers on a school day. My favorite exhibit was the bee hive man since I could sample tons of free sweet golden honey. He always seemed to know what I was up to wasting all my precious education for a day at the fair, but he always smiled and did not interrupt my immature independence every time he handed me another spoon of honey.
Today, I just am warmed by the countless memories I had at those county fairs. I laugh now because there was nothing breathtaking or awe-inspired, unless you think that a steer show is as magical as men spitting out tobacco in an old rusty Folgers can. However, it was a theme in my life. It was the beginning of my independence. My parents knew that I was just wasting time and being curious, but they let me go for my sake. That is what made it so magical. I was free to start thinking of what I wanted to do with the time I had devised to spend. Like cranberries and chocolate, it seems like a silly thing to base a story upon. But, it's everything significant to a girl that revels in life's little moments.